Inches

Drama • TV-MA • Directed by: Rescue Me • 46 minutes

As Tommy struggles with his recurring nightmares of 9/11, the crew is embroiled in a heated debate over how best to measure their sexual equipment. Once Jerry establishes a definitive standard, only Billy balks at a contest to identify the house's best endowed fireman. Already thrown for a loop after his dad called for help after Uncle Teddy came home with a monkey, Tommy discovers that he is now the caretaker of Katy's new dog. Already arguing about who's responsible for the messy pet, Tommy and Janet square off over Colleen's suspension for kissing a girl at school. And as Tommy finds comfort in the fact that Colleen is having a relationship with a girl, Mike is surprised when his girlfriend's daughter, Nicole, comes to stay for a week. Told that her son is dealing drugs, upon arriving to escort Sheila to a party for Bobby Vincent's widow, Tommy confiscates Damien's stash, but only after making sure he knows which pills can be used to calm down both Uncle Teddy and his crazed monkey. Uncomfortable with all the attention he is getting at the party from a widow named Gloria, Tommy soon realizes that, because he's Sheila's escort, the other widows have started to eye him as being available for sex. Meanwhile, as Tommy's dad worries that he may have given Uncle Teddy a drug overdose, and Mike doesn't know what to do when Nicole makes a pass at him, a girlfriend's effort to help Franco win the contest forces them to call Lou for help. And after he can't stop seeing the fire victims that have been haunting him, Tommy seeks refuge in his cousin, Mickey's, church. After fielding an angry call from Sheila, Tommy arrives with his crew at a deserted warehouse whose homeless residents have been overcome by a fire's smoke and heat where, after rescuing two teenaged girls, he watches in horror as the floor collapses, sending Billy to his death. At Billy's funeral, Tommy learns that Gloria has been telling everyone that they are having sex. But after convincing Sheila that the claims are false, Tommy finds that his sexually ferocious response to her advances drives out his visions of her late husband, Jimmy. Finally, though the initial results point to Franco, word of Billy's size makes him the contest's posthumous winner.